Today

After a long day I sit here at 11:59pm to just capture a few minutes of my day for Makayla to post in the morning.

Today I have been blessed in many ways – to be there at a wonderful birth, to see a woman who had a difficult time in birth transforming into an amazing mother in front of my eyes, to the good fortune to share another pregnancy with a dear client and friend, to have news that I will have a new nanny in the middle of next week (thank goodness!).

However I have also experienced a really sad day.  I cannot work out what we do to make sure that women REALLY know that they have choices in their care.

Today I have experienced the good (above), the bad (women “finding” us well through pregnancy) and the ugly (women experiencing things no one should ever have to experience and “finding” us way down the track).

I really, really respect the choices that women make – seeing a GP, caseload midwifery care, care with us, private obstetrician, elective caesarean, water birth – but I just WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT THEY HAVE CHOICES.  The choices may be simple to make – being off the bed when they birth their baby – or complex – having a home birth in many areas in Queensland.  But we all do have the ability and the right to make choices for ourselves and our babies. 

Please take the time today to just pass the information on to a pregnant friend, relative or colleague.  They have choices.  If they don’t feel “right” in their stomach about the choice they have made, they need to get more information and make another choice. 

Liz x

Two of the best.

They are both going to strangle me for putting this up here but I am sure there are those of you who will agree whole heartedly that these are two of the best midwives around.  Yes I probably am biased but having worked with them both for a number of years, I see the complete dedication that both Ros and Liz have for their passion - midwifery, women and birth.

I can't tell you the number of times they have changed their plans or even missed family events, after school activities, grandparent days, weddings, birthdays and school performances, not just for births but to go to the women who need them for a myriad of reasons.  Their job is a completely selfless and one I am fairly sure I could not do.  Midwifery definitely runs through their veins.

Actually being biased again, My Midwives are fortunate enough to have EIGHT of the best midwives!

  

Were you fortunate enough to have a midwife who you would consider to be one of the best?

Reaching Out

Recently I was talking to a dear friend about her experience during the postnatal period.  She revealed she had really struggled after her little girl was born and whilst she knew that she could call upon myself or my midwifery colleagues to provide her with care she didn't and couldn't.  I was at a loss as to why when she knew the expertise, referral base, facilities and tools that we could provide her that she didn't reach out. 

It is only now (12 months later) that she feels comfortable admitting what a struggle she had.    Her explanation was that she felt she was a failure if she did ask for help.  Sound like a common theme? 

What is it with women?  Why are we our own worst enemies? 

I was so intrigued by my friends insight I decided to put a post on our Facebook page about women asking for help.  Here are just a few of the responses.  Something else that shouldn't be a surprise, was the amount of responses we did receive. 

"With my second son I would ask for help and people would say "oh everyone feels like that"... I don't think they realised how bad my PND was. I would ask atleast weekly... I gave up after a while cos noone would help."

"When i was in hospital and i couldn't feed my baby, i asked every nurse and midwife who attended me for help. I rang buzzers and sat there letting people squeeze my nipples and force my baby around by the head. Nobody helped me or offered me a pump. I didn't know i could ask. I asked for formula twice and that's the only food my baby got for the first three days of life." 

"I had amazing midwives but I was ashamed to tell them I was struggling so bad! So I didnt.. :( i wish I had because then maybe i would have got help and would remember the first 6mths of my bubbas life.  I think I was just too scared to fail. I was a woman and meant to be a mother but it wasn't what it should have been."

"During my stay in hospital I couldn't settle my first son at all. I was up all night one night and early in the morning I ended up calling the midwife in. I was in tears and told her that he wouldn't settle and that I'd been trying all night. I remember her saying to me in a not very nice tone "well what did you do that for, why didn't you call someone?". I remember feeling completely inadequate as a mother and totally unsupported. My thought process behind not asking for help was that if I can't even get it right in hospital then how on earth am I going to cope at home on my own. I felt I had to do it on my own because that is what everyone does. Luckily I had my mum to support me and don't know where I would have ended up without my mum. This time around of course was much better with the support of the beautiful my midwives group! I didn't have to ask for help because it was always just there."

Clearly women and their families know when women have babies there can be problems with how different people handle the changes to their lives, bodies, emotions and general well being.  Being a new Mum is a huge job and one that we don't receive any training for - yet we consistently see women putting on a brave face instead of reaching out.  Not everyone ends up with postnatal depression but we continue to see a rise in episodes of depression during pregnancy and after birth.

As an initiative Beyond Blue has established "Just Speak Up"  The campaign aims to promote awareness of depression and anxiety in the antenatal and postnatal periods, reduce stigma and provide information about where to get help. 

Perhaps you would consider sharing your story to help others "speak up" about their experiences.   My Midwives is one place in some areas to go for help both antenatally and postnatally. 

What is available in your community?

You make us smile.

My Midwives is less than one year old but already we feel like we have the community we intended creating from the day we first opened our doors. 
When our mothers start to wander through our front door on a Tuesday morning for Mum's group, pushing prams loaded with nappy bags, bubs (of course) and  some yummies to share, we all smile with delight. All of these women have come to us at various stages of pregnancy or after their babies have been born and they are all very special to us in their own way.
What makes us really beam is the fact that we know our morning mothers group usually turns into "mothers day". 

It isn't unusual to look down the stairs to see babies doing what they do - feeding, sleeping and having nappies changed all while their Mummy's drink tea and eat cake.  The My Midwives team all get jealous because often, once the cake is all eaten and the babies are all tuckered out, the mummy party then moves to a cafe for lunch!

Our little community continues to grow and we hope that we can help many, many more mothers start their parenting journey like this - with professional support if needed and a group of Mum's who are on the same road.

Do we love our Mum's coming again and again?  What better feedback could you ask for........

Mx