"There's Always Porridge"

The My Midwives Blog is an open blog.  We welcome contributions about family, being a parent, your birthing experiences, an experience with your children, advice and more.  Please send contributions to info@mymidwives.com.au , we will attribute your post to you or keep it anonymous. 





Occasionally while driving home after a long day at work, the sun going down quicker than I’d like and all three children tired and cranky, I remember I forgot to turn the slow cooker on this morning! I start frantically racking my brains for what I can whip up in the kitchen (and for anyone who knows me well enough, knows this is far from one of my forte’s). Without a single decent meal coming to mind, I sing out “who’d like porridge for dinner?” Thankfully my darlings are very easily pleased and I get a resounding “YAY, ME!!” While they spend the rest of the drive across town discussing who will have banana and who will have honey on top, I breathe a sigh of relief and smile to myself knowing my husband is not going to be as ecstatic about tonight’s menu.

Since the women in my family have been thrust into the world of toddlerhood we have had a long standing joke that unless you’ve had weetbix for dinner you really haven’t lived!

For all you mums and dads out there who are striving to be the best you can be by putting the most nutritious food on the table…because that’s what good parents do…well I’m about to tell you my little secret. Every so often…there’s always porridge!

Ahh, the joys of parenting! What will you be having for dinner tonight?

Bec xxx

For Camille who will forever remember "there’s always porridge".

Hanky Panky

During our antenatal course the one question (usually in men’s heads) that always ends up being asked is “When can we have sex again after the baby is born?” Of course I always answer “at least 6 months if not longer!” After watching the colour drain from the men’s faces and an ever so quiet ‘woohoo’ whisper come from the women I own up and tell them that’s just what I told my husband (sorry darling).

But seriously when is it ok to get back in the sack again? Well between catching up on sleep, eating, showering, cleaning, cooking and a screaming, unsettled, pooing, weeing, demanding, burping, windy, ever so precious (I really had to put that in) newborn, there just never seems enough time. The ever so wise words, "whenever you’re ready" (which I might add is very good advice) is all well and good but there are so many other factors to consider...

"when did bub last feed"? "When is she due to feed again? Geez when did I last have a shower? OMG look at the hairs on my legs not to mention the bikini line I’ve not seen in a while! Is this going to hurt? Is it going to be the same? Darn, I just remembered I put child no 2 in our bed to go to sleep…great, I guess the spare bed it is then. Hmmm I best move all the unfolded washing onto the floor then…ok, I’m ready…or maybe not, she’s awake :-), oh I mean :-(!"

The fact is each beautiful addition to your lives brings new interruptions. Take the opportunities whenever they arise (be they ever so quick…I’m sure he won’t mind!) Remember to enjoy each other’s company when you can and always take the time for each other.

Bec xxx

Caesarean Birth - a woman's story.

I am a 35 year old Mum, for me, being a mother for the third time around didn’t come as I had expected. I had my two boys early in my 20s, and had postpartum depression very badly after my second baby. I remember the last time feeding him was in the mental health ward. 

I think though deep down in my heart I had always wanted a family of three children, I was white with terror, but also totally amazed and in awe at the two blue lines that were positive when I saw them on the stick. It had been 11 years since I had my last baby, and I really had thought that I had been robbed of the dream of having my third child. The strange mixture of feelings ... Were pretty overwhelming. My husband was extremely supportive, and we both wanted this baby, although we had to make the mental adjustments.

I was on some medication that was unhealthy for a growing baby, so my doctor took me off them, and I experienced withdrawal from them. I had to see a specialist, and I soon got back on track and my health improved pretty quickly. I had an early ante-natal appointment at the hospital because of the medication I had been on, and at the hospital clinic, I saw a brochure about midwifery.

Something about their philosophy really struck me as pretty inspiring, that they were there to share a journey with me, so I talked it over with some relatives who were midwives (now retired) and they fully supported my idea. I brought it up to my husband, and he was supportive. The hospital was great with the boys, but the thought of having somebody there for a continuity of care really mattered to me ... Little did I know how much it would help. I met , my gorgeous midwife, when I was about 16 weeks preggie. She was a darling. I pretty much fell in love with some of the other staff too, and I came to really look forward to just hanging about the clinic, which was more like a family home than a medical environment. I felt safe, accepted, appreciated, respected and loved.

I had a “high risk” pregnancy category due to some pre-existing medical factors, but I was still able to have all of my stuff done with my midwife. She was not only my midwife, she was an advocate, a tower of strength, she dried my tears, she gave me hugs, she patted my belly and called my baby darling. Having her on the journey was so special. I love my midwife, if only she knew how much she has made a difference to the start of my precious daughter’s life.

My daughter was born a month early by caesarean section. There were a few administrative things that I overheard being talked about because it was a very new thing to have a private midwife in a caesarean, and to me it was a really wonderful thing that even though some of the finer details were getting worked out, my midwife was able to come in as my support. My hubby had to sit out while I was getting the spinal anaesthesia, and as I hunched over, she lifted her surgical mask, smiled at me and mouthed that she was still here. Her eyes were sparkling. I felt reassured, and totally relaxed. Everyone there during my daughter’s delivery was totally wonderful.

She was actually born by an emergency caesarean because the placenta had started to come away, cause my waters had broken early, so having her there for afterwards was just wonderful too. The skin to skin contact with my daughter and being able to give her a first feed was really important to me, and I wanted my hubby to be there with me – my hubby and I were there together with our beautiful little daughter – with my midwife aiding me in feeding her and doing those first couple of hours of bonding. It is beautiful, a memory I cherish, though a little hazy, I know it was totally beautiful. My midwife also came to our house and helped us out with getting our little princess into a sleeping routine (bless her) and the home visits are something we very much looked forward to and appreciated.

So don’t think "oh, I am a high risk patient, oh, I have to have a caesarean, oh, I can’t have a midwife" Yes, you can, and miracles come in cans .....

Sitting here four months later with a beautiful happy daughter who is bonding beautifully all began with the journey with my beautiful midwife. I love my midwife x x
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